What you don’t know about the Comfort Zone and How to Get UNSTUCK
by Michael Brook
What you don’t know about the comfort zone, How to get unstuck, and get yourself moving in the right direction today.
I’m going to share with you the one thing you need to get unstuck, which is this 4-step process, which is guaranteed to ensure you can get unstuck… And get your life moving in the right direction, so you can have more opportunities and more freedom.
So, download your workbook, follow the steps and wave goodbye to being stuck:
Of course I’m looking at being stuck or in the comfort zone from the viewpoint of getting started creating online products for you business…
… that’s what we do, help people who are often in what I think of as the helping professions – consultants, trainers, coaches, therapist and business owners in the helping people arena – to make online products that ultimately change the way they do business and often change their lives.
As part of the process of helping people to create their own online products we often invite people to come onto a free coaching call to help them get clarity on their ideas of creating a product. it helps them focus on creating their product and often identifies the reasons it hasn’t happened yet. The reason is often they are stuck… or sometimes they describe it as being in the comfort zone.
During that call I often find that you guys are often nearly there and have just got stuck somewhere in the process of creating that online product.
So, that said, this will help people who are what they often think of as in the comfort zone for whatever reason and whatever it is that’s holding them back.
The secrets to getting unstuck and moving forward in life or in the creation of your online product is a simple 4-step process.
But before we look at the one thing you need to get unstuck, my 4-stage process, lets explore some of the reasons people get the sense of being stuck and then we’ll look at how to break free of these shackles and into a world presenting you with more choices and more freedom.
Why do people get stuck?
So many people use the phrase the comfort zone. Being in the comfort zone is a phrase that is commonly used to describe a place or a situation where people are; stopping them moving forward in life or from a difficult situation.
Let me tell you, often people in this place are anything but comfortable. They are stuck and find it difficult to move forward but they’re not comfortable… in fact they may well be experiencing a great deal of discomfort and even emotional pain.
However, amazingly discomfort doesn’t make it any easier to change and move forward.
So what is it that keeps us stuck? It’s more often the unknown that stops people moving on than the discomfort of where they are.
So it is perhaps more accurately called the known zone rather than what people often call the comfort zone.
So let’s considered for a moment why people do get stuck.
There are, as you might imagine ,many reasons (too many in fact to get into here) but here are a few to illustrate the point.
The first reason I see all the time is motivation…
…sometimes we simply lack the motivation to change.
People just can’t find big enough reason to take action to change their life or some part of their life that they know absolutely needs to change.
So what is it you would like to change in your business or perhaps in your life? Perhaps it’s changing the way you do business and perhaps you have considered that the answer might be an online product…
Why hasn’t it happened yet?
I often find the reason is that people just haven’t taken the time to consider fully what life would be like with that change having already taken place.
Ask yourself what would have to happen or what would you have to get out of it to make you motivated to make this change and put your efforts into it.
The way to help this process is simply to harness the power of your imagination and project yourself into a future where this has already happened. See all the benefits of a future where the change is already in place.
Then ask yourself “Is this thing that I’ve found… will it actually do it for me?” You know that thing that might have to happen in life you to consider making change – will that really do it, will that make you change?
Paradoxically another motivational problem is the process of goal setting
…we set ourselves goals that are far too big and far too daunting and in doing that we set ourselves up for a fail.
Everywhere we look there is some self help guru telling us to set ourselves big hairy audacious goals… which in principle is fine.
Yes, we all know it’s great to set goals. But for some reason, certainly, men seem to have the ability to set themselves such huge, hairy, monstrous goals that success almost never happens.
I think we need to give success a chance. And perhaps Instead of absolute success being the only option and anything less been seen as failure, we need to set ourselves much smaller milestones along the way. We need to break big goals down into smaller more achievable, more palatable goals.
Setting goals is undoubtedly a way of getting unstuck and moving forward in life but not if they’re to be too hairy, too monstrous and too ugly to achieve.
If you are feeling stuck in your career as a coach, trainer, consultant or therapist and perhaps business owner, fed up of the time for money trap or being unable to reach enough people… the goal of creating an online product is a great way of breaking free. But perhaps don’t start by making the product too big or setting the goal of it making too much money too soon… or even taking over the way you do business totally. Set that goal but set achievable milestones along the way. Goals that are too big and therefore unachievable in one step are inherently demotivating… compounding the feeling of being stuck.
Change the game and change the rules of the game, design rules and belief systems that make your life easier not harder.
Of course you must set yourself goals that are worthwhile achieving, just don’t make your own rules for feeling good absolutely dependent on reaching them every time – you can feel good about the journey along the way.
People can often make their life difficult when their rules for success are framed in a way that it almost makes them impossible to succeed. If you frame like this:
I’m a success when I’m the best… Or… I’m a failure when anyone beats me.
These are not good frames to set your goals within. It might be better to create a frame that says:
I succeed every time I take positive action towards my goals… Or… I succeed every time I learn something.
I only fail when I give up or refuse to learn.
These are much healthier frames to think about achievement and success in and will certainly help with motivation. When people are demotivated they certainly feel stuck and they don’t seem to see a way out.
There is a school of thought that says:
No pain No gain… This certainly can have a negative effect and can make us lose desire and drive. You see when we find things a constant struggle it makes our behaviour change and we adopt that ‘P’ word. We are talking about that age-old problem that holds us back and makes us manage time and life badly…
The “P” Word – PROCRASTINATION
Constantly putting things off is a factor in motivation or should I say Demotivation and people who constantly procrastinate constantly feel stuck.
Procrastination is that little gremlin that just makes you put stuff off… so what type of things do you put off? I know this is perhaps the main culprit stopping people creating online products which would undoubtedly change their life.
People put things off that they don’t like, things they are uncomfortable with, things where there might be conflict, jobs with people we perhaps have little or no rapport with, things involving personal finances.
So what is it that you’ve been putting off and why?
Is it that you don’t know how to get the concept of your online product fully formed for you audience?
Is it that the process of structuring the program seems daunting?
Or perhaps you believe you don’t have the necessary skills for the production phase or that the equipment is going to be too expensive.
Or perhaps once the product is created you wouldn’t know how to publish it… which stops you even making the product.
These are just some of the limiting beliefs or thought viruses that have got in the way of some of the people I speak with who want to create online products.
If the situation you are stuck with is not about creating online products I’m sure some of the reasons will be similar.
What is the knock-on effect of putting these things off – what other problems does this cause?
Being frightened, being scared, being apprehensive, being nervous about the future, fear about change all can lead to our inability to move forward or to move on.
It can be fear of the unknown, fear of failure, even fear of success.
When it comes to creating online products I have seen fear play its part in holding people stuck for a number of reasons…
… fear of making a product that people will not want, fear of changing their current business model… fear of losing their customer base.
If you have been considering making online products for some time and not got on with it… is it fear holding you back and if so – What’s your fear of?
I learned this reworking of the word fear…. And now think of fear as meaning
False – Evidence – Appearing – Real
You see the human mind doesn’t like a vacuum. When it’s uncertain of something, or when it’s unsure or just doesn’t know… the mind fills the vacuum… our minds make up a plausible possible future. This certainly fills the vacuum but our minds rarely serves us well in this situation.
We use the power of our imagination. Our imagination can often run riot… and is most likely to think about the worst-case scenario.
Our identity of the way we see ourselves can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. In simple terms if our unconscious doesn’t believe in the self we would like to be it seems to never happen.
One of the ways our identity manifests itself through self-talk or how we speak to ourselves.
Few people realise how much the way we talk to ourselves or the way that we describe our situation to others becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So your job is to try and get rid of negative self-talk, notice how you even flippantly describe your situation to others.
So if you’re the type of person that constantly beats themselves up with a negative conversation with yourself… Stop it and stop it now.
If you’re the type person who makes flippant negative comments about yourself in that jokey manner to your friends and associates… Stop it and stop it now.
These are just expressions where a negative self-image about your abilities and capabilities will ultimately just manifest itself in your ability to reach your full potential.
Okay so these are just a few of the reasons why we end up in this place people describe as the comfort zone, which we now know should be described as the known zone and is in reality the place where we are stuck.
So here’s the one thing that you need to beat this phenomenon and it’s a simple 4-step process.
Step 1 – Visualisation
This is an incredible visualization technique. There is a ton of evidence as to the power of visualisation. In fact athletes use visualisation all the time to ensure their success.
So, the first thing to do is to visualise yourself having already achieved what you want to achieve.
You need to use the power of your imagination and project yourself into a future where you can actually see yourself having already achieved what is that you want to achieve.
The more detail you can get in to your visualisation the better. The more detailed description of that future which will include what you will see, what you will hear and in particular how you will feel, having already had achievement.
I find the best way is to play the scenario out like a movie in my mind… In NLP terms the power of this is that you are ‘future pacing’ what will happen at a time in your future.
One of the reasons future pacing and visualising a time in the future works so well, is that you are literally rehearsing. You actually use exactly the same neurology to imagine doing something as you do when you actually doing it. So when it comes to doing something that you have already imagined yourself doing, it seems easier and the behaviours don’t seem so alien.
Step 2 – Act As If
Step 2 is all about changing your state. You need to change your state into a state where you can convince yourself this is something you can do. And the best way to do this is to ACT AS IF… Or another phrase commonly used for this activity is faking it until you make it.
When you start to act as if for example you are a successful product creator and have got successful products then your actions start to lead your subconscious into a place where they can believe it’s true.
A simple example of this is when I have coached people who are frightened of public speaking… I ask them to describe the behaviour of somebody who is a great public speaker, which of course they can do very well. So once they have described the behaviour of a great successful public speaker the next step is to ask them to act those behaviours out for themselves.
So when you ask somebody what is a great public speaker looks acts and sounds like they will tell you: they stand straight and symmetrical, with their feet shoulder width apart, with their chest out, their chin up, making eye contact with the room, projecting their voice to the back of the room – you know the type of thing you’ve seen a successful public speaker do.
So once you’ve described the behaviour the next thing is to start acting as if you are that confident public speaker. Once you have acted like a confident public speaker, it becomes more difficult for your brain to have the limiting belief that being a great public speaker is not possible for you… And then you’re on your way.
So the second step getting unstuck is to identify the behaviours of doing what you would like to do and then to actually do it.
Step 3 – Calm Your Inner Voice
Step 3 in the process of getting yourself unstuck is to calm that inner voice down.
We’ve already discovered that the way we describe our situation to ourselves or indeed to others can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So we know that negative inner voice can be a problem and hold us back from achieving what we need to achieve.
So your next job is to recognise when you are having a negative conversation with yourself and stop it and stop immediately.
The next part of this equation is to replace this negative self-talk with a positive mantra that overrides the negativity. This is especially effective at the point where you notice yourself having a negative conversation with yourself. Stop the negative self-talk and replace it immediately with a positive mantra telling yourself that you are absolutely the type of person that can do this and 100% capable of achieving it.
When you have created your mantra positivity just keep repeating it. Soon your unconscious mind will get the message.
Step 4 – Take Action
Step 4 is to take some action. So now you’ve visualised a future where what you want to achieve is possible and you’ve even imagined a future where you’re actually living the dream. You’ve identified the behaviours and started acting as if this is something you can do and you’ve calmed that inner voice down and replaced the negativity with a positive mantra.
The next step is to actually do what it is that you want to do…
Take action and just do it. You’ve done all the hard work, now the next step should be relatively easy so just go ahead and do what it is that you dream of doing.
So throw those excuses out of the window and just DO IT… who knows this just might be the way you were always intended to run your business and live your life.
You don’t find your passion by having some epiphany or divine inspiration. I have found you find your passion by doing and engaging with people.
You certainly don’t get to change your life by sitting around and wishing and hoping and making excuses for the way things are, because you have a world view that doesn’t support that change.
And if it is creating online products for you… it starts here and you can create a platform where you can impact on thousands if not millions of lives and take you from a place where you feel trapped and stuck, to a life where you have opportunities and freedom, where you can thrive professionally and personally.
So, download your workbook, follow the steps and wave goodbye to being stuck: